Pretty Graphs

Pretty Graphs – Is dat all Marketas Straight-Up want from Data?

However dope tha game, you should occasionally peep tha thangs up in dis biatch.


Original article:

First off, if yo ass is up in tha UK n’ readin dis git over tha spellin of visualize up in tha title (it’s gonna keep happening) n’ dat I just quoted Sir Churchill.

Yo, so, I just came across a sick visualization tool called Whatagraph that instantly creates a ghettofab infographic based off of yo’ Gizoogle Analytics data. Well shiiiit, it hit dat shiznit straight-up well, up in tha sense dat it do what tha fuck it say on tha tin.

This post isn’t bout Whatagraph however yo, but rather what-it-represents (well, ta me at least). To put thangs tha fuck into context, I work as a gangbangin’ finger-lickin’ digital measurement consultant. Dizzle up in dizzle up I bang on bout bustin measurement plans, n’ havin a measurement game ta go along wit yo’ marketing, communications n’ content plans. I’m not ridin’ solo up in dis field (surprised, biatch? mah 16 year oldschool self is surprised too), up in fact there be nuff other smart-ass muthafuckas dat try to help others straight-up use data from marketin n’ communications channels ta make high-rollin’ decisions.

Yo, so naturally mah first instinct was a lil’ bit of “great… all dis mad bullshit n’ effort up in understandin what tha fuck a funky-ass bidnizz is tryin ta do n’ rockin data ta prove if they is bustin it right, n’ all marketas straight-up want be a pimpin’ infographic”.

Is dis tha case, biatch? Is all tha RFPs fo’ enterprise analytics vendors just fo’ show, biatch? Is all tha attendances at conferences wit topics like “Contextual Personalization is key ta yo’ Marketin Success!” and “Big Data is tha Holy Grail fo’ tha Modern Marketer” straight-up just a excuse ta not be at yo’ desk fo’ a thugged-out day?

Accordin ta a survey by Econsultancy, data-driven marketin dat focuses on tha individual is one of tha top most bangin opportunitizzles fo’ g-units right now n’ up in tha next 5 years.

Graph showin most bangin opportunitizzles fo' marketas up in tha next 5 muthafuckin years
Econsultancy QDIB 2016 Digital Trendz – p9


But still, just cuz on some gangbangin’ fifth of respondents ta dis survey say it’s bangin, do they straight-up mean it or is it just one of dem expected knee-jerk erections like when one of mah thugs asks you “how tha fuck is yo dirty ass bustin” n’ you say fine even though you’re havin a cold-ass lil crap day.

Of course it’s easy as fuck ta say it’s a bangin opportunity, cuz that’s what tha fuck all tha smart-ass muthafuckas is spittin some lyrics ta you dat you should be sayin fo’ realz. Also, all yo’ competitors is bustin it… right?

I’m not sayin there aren’t nuff digital marketas dat do up in fact make use of data up in they decision makin process. I have however, over tha past 5 years as a cold-ass lil consultant ta g-units from under 100 hommies ta global behemoths wit over 100,000 hommies, peeped dat there be a shitload mo’ lip steez paid ta analytics than actual boots on tha ground.


No one cares meme

No Muthafucka Cares cuz there is No Urgency ta Care

Another sick lil morsel of data from tha Econsultancy survey was tha prioritizzle dat g-units say they is givin ta data-driven marketing. In tha graph below you can peep dat a whopping 90% of g-units listed it as one of tha top 3 priorities!

Figure 8: Please rank these five areas up in order of prioritizzle fo' yo' organisation up in 2016.
Econsultancy QDIB 2016 Digital Trendz – p9


Maybe I’m just unlucky n’ have only had tha chizzle ta work wit all tha g-units n’ tha divisions within dem dat just haven’t truly jumped on tha bandwagon. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. If it was anecdotal n’ I’d only spoken ta a handful of clients, I might believe dis shit. But afta literally 100z of hustla engagements over tha past 4 muthafuckin years n’ mah own experience as a marketa before that, I be thinkin there be a much bigger systemic issue at play here.

For enterprise level g-units, payin lip steez is enough. Why, biatch? Well cuz fo’ decades they’ve been bustin bidnizz as usual up in tha marketin n’ communications departments n’ tha company seems ta be bustin fine. They’re currently profitable, or amongst tha market leaders. There’s enough growth ta keep playas comin ta work n’ just relyin on phat oldschool common sense n’ instinct driven from muthafuckin yearz of experience. So why on earth would they waste resources on diggin all up in numbers when what tha fuck they is bustin be already working?

Well, I don’t gotz a straight-up phat answer fo’ dis shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sheezy there’s nuff Snoop Bloggy-Blogg posts on tha benefits you can receive from data. Da responses ta tha survey above is evidence dat g-units is up in fact aware of these benefits, n’ you can put dat on yo’ toast. Well shiiiit, it simply comes down ta tha fact dat if yo ass isn’t horny bout bustin time ta bust a cold-ass lil competitizzle advantage all up in data analysis, then you just aren’t goin ta do dat shit. If yo ass is too busy wit you “day-to-day” up in order ta learn how tha fuck ta segment yo’ visitors up in Gizoogle or Webtrendz or Omniture, yo ass isn’t goin ta do dat shit.

Maybe it’s dopest ta just pay one of mah thugs ta do it fo’ you, biatch. Of course, dat would mean not only shellin up some fundz yo, but actually actin on any recommendations dat come back.




Visualize This…

Yo, so comin full circle, maybe apps like Whatagraph or Tableau or Klipfolio or PowerBi is all tha catalyst dat will git crews from just sayin they wanna prioritize data driven marketin ta straight-up incorporatin it tha fuck into they process.


By havin a simple infographic dat displays top level vanitizzle metrics it might just become part of tha rap dat leadz ta mo’ thangs. Thangs round how tha fuck do we increase dem vanitizzle metrics or what tha fuck other metrics is available ta all dis bullshit.

Maybe it’s worth it enough just ta keep tha playas whoz ass aren’t dat horny bout data off yo’ back, so you can spend mo’ time straight-up diggin up in tha data fo’ insights.

True adoption might only come fo’ enterprises when urgency in tha form of a gangbangin’ finger-lickin’ disruptizzle startup up in tha industry arrives. Or maybe it will take one of mah thugs whoz ass wants ta cook up a gangbangin’ finger-lickin’ difference inside tha organization ta step up n’ be a cold-ass lil champion fo’ tha cause of makin decisions based on evidence rather than faith (ooh careful there Mike… let’s not poke dat bear).

Whatever tha legit catalyst will be, I’m aiiight ta hear people’s thoughts on what tha fuck has hit dat shiznit fo’ dem ta go from just pretty graphics ta game changin measurement plans.

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